he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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