Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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