I look better un-naked...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
