You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
