she takes plan B like it's going out of style
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Randomize
