they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
