Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
