Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
