omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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