Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
