"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
