you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
