What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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