I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
