weddingsv make me drug and hornr
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
