I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
