do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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