i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
