Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
