...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
