dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
