No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
