After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
kristin has been a bad kristin
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
