I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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