I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
