Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
