Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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