He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
