sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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