I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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