I'm going to jail i love you
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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