It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
