handjob tips. give me some.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
