The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
