and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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