im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
