i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
