im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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