You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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