You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
