I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
