Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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