Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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