You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
