Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
