your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sorry about my life...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
