Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
