Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
