My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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