You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
