I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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